Communication Tips (a Free Resource from CoupleTalk)
Your Relationship Thanksgiving Checklist
Thanksgiving season is upon us. There are many things we can be grateful for, but sometimes the loved ones around us don’t hear that we’re grateful they’re a part of our lives. Take some time this Thanksgiving month to truly count the blessings that you have received in your spouse and other relationships. When you express your thanks and gratitude for your spouse or significant other, it will result in them feeling appreciated and can be beneficial to you as well. Expressing gratitude to that special person in your life will remind you what a difference that person makes in your life.
Give appreciations – as often as possible!
Researchers say that it takes a large quantity of compliments/positive statements (ranging from 5 up to 23!) to counteract the damage from just ONE criticism. So, what’s your appreciation-to-criticism ratio?
One takeaway from the CoupleTalk program is the importance of expressing – out loud – those positive things we feel and think about our partner, but too often keep inside.
- “Catch your partner doing well” – and tell them about it! Out loud!
- Tell them what you admire about them, or something they do for you that you appreciate, or a character quality they have.
- It doesn’t have to be a deep, dramatic expression of love (although those are great too!), but just say a simple, “You’re really good at (insert partner’s strength here), and it makes me feel (insert your positive feeling here). Thanks!”
· So, start building the appreciation habit. It’ll do wonders for your relationship!
Here are some best practices for expressing thanks or appreciation for our spouses or significant other. Some of these tips are from our COUPLETALK book.
- Think of something small that they do for you. Tell them how that little thing makes you feel! (cared for, important, loved)
- What’s something you’re not good at that your spouse can do well? Tell them you appreciate that about them!
- It’s ALWAYS a good time to tell your partner what you appreciate, admire, or like about them. Tell them something you haven’t said aloud before!
- Give your partner an appreciation by saying what you care and admire about them. Make this a habit.
- It’s always good to think about what you appreciate about your spouse (a character quality, extra effort made, etc.), and then tell them out loud!
“No human can tame the tongue. It’s full of deadly poison.” Watch what you say & redo it when you mess up: “Honey, that was unkind. Let me redo it.”
“Whatever is good, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – dwell on these.” Phil 4:8 Focus on your spouse’s positives & you’ll discover even more!